As part of a collaboration with Hot Goth GF Radio, we’re showcasing incredible queer talent from the Bay Area and beyond! Watch Joyfriend takeover on our Instagram on June 21. Or, check out the highlights on our profile afterward to relive the day.
In July 2023 you mentioned that you went through a “metamorphosis” and that you’re revealing the new you sonically through the song “Trouble.” How did it feel to release that song to the world? And how do you feel today after this new beginning?
There is a great quote from German poet Goethe, West-östlicher Divan that I read in The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts, “As long as you do not know how to die and come to life again, you are but a sorry traveler on this dark earth.” Releasing “Trouble” out into the world put me face to face with that reality. I had written “Trouble” a year prior in 2022 and I had let my doubts get the best of me and kept pushing back releasing the song. I hit a point where I was finally fed up enough of my self-sabotaging fears and needed to ‘come alive’ again. The thing is that doing something new, and breaking old habits meant putting my neck out there and feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable. At the same time, it was important for me to push through the fear and put out the song that represented myself, a misfit in society. The song has in response acted as a beacon to find other weirdos and queers who feel the same way.
A year later, I feel the slow and gradual progress of what it looks like to tend to the seed I planted and it’s been psychologically laborious to do. A part of me wants to go back and hide, but another part of me wants to attend and befriend this new self. To give myself the humility to be imperfect and to learn patience to continuously meet myself where I am at. Looking back, I’ve seen how much I’ve grown and the confidence putting that song out has given me. I’ve met so many inspiring people because of the song and I booked a 6 week tour for this summer to find out where the other troublemakers are. >:-)
You’ve worn some incredible outfits in the past. How important is fashion to your musical and personal identity?
I am very lucky to have met a very talented fashion designer and creative being who has also become a very close friend to me, Sol, they own W3b St4r Clothing Brand (@shop_w3b_st4r) I really like outfits that empower me and make me feel comfortable in my skin. They also directed the Trouble Music Video! They made me a killer outfit using their custom design chainmail spider webs as part of our first collab. It’s just fun to dress up in my own personal mysticism and be inspired by the things I like. For instance, I’ve been watching a shit load of y2k sci-fi TV shows and some of the characters just have the sickest outfits like Seven of Nine on Star Trek and Chiana from Farscape. Sol and I would brainstorm what a deviant trans-dimensional aliens would wear and then we would go thrifting to find fabrics to upcycle for the outfits.
On a personal level I’ve always worn bold outfits – I am a Leo after all. On the first day of high school I wore bright yellow plaid Tripp pants, normal people were like “What the hell…” but the weirdo art kids were like “What’s up!!!” I met my core group of friends because of those pants, haha.
Rave culture is alive and well in the Bay Area. How has this community shaped you and your productions?
I am forever grateful to the Bay Area underground rave scene. I’ve been to renegades in the mountains of Santa Cruz, I’ve partied in a shipping container in West Oakland, gotten lost at a rave in a Bordello, stayed up til sunrise in a shipyard bunker, walked in a DIY fashion show that turned into a rave, built art installations for people to enjoy. What inspires me is the DIY building of spaces, like the only way to have fun is to make it. There is so much freedom of self-expression that permeates the community, it’s helped me feel comfortable with my style and who I am. I find that greatly inspires me to put into action what I dream of.
I’d love to learn more about your upcoming single “Fall From Grace.” What was the inspiration behind it?
“I squinted up at the sky and aimed my bow at the glistening aura that gleefully danced above me. I dug my heels into the gravel, resentful as I was convinced that angels must be afraid to come down to Earth in fear of what we have done. For I am no Saint, my hand released the tension of the arrow, and it pierced through the sky and I watched as the flickering beam of angelic light toppled through the atmosphere and struck onto our modest Earth’s soil. Bound to form and bonded to the same intrinsic rules as the rest of us, I wondered how quickly an angel would slip into the temptation of sin and pleasure if it lived amongst us. Would their idyllic nature fade into memory? Would they stay and relish in their new earthly play?”
Congrats on your upcoming summer tour with Jeff in Leather! What are you looking forward to the most with this tour?
Thank you! When a friend recommended I play a show with Jeff in Leather I didn’t know who he was but I saw one live video and was like “hell yeah let’s do this!” I cannot wait to meet all the freaky cool and queer artists all over the country. The network of darkwave rave, digital hardcore, and EBM industrial musicians I’ve gotten to connect with through booking this DIY tour has made me feel part of something bigger than myself. I am excited to play shows with new artists and to play my songs to new people, it’s been a dream of mine to do this!
